I’ve always dreamed about being the sort of girl who dresses ‘vintage’. I still believe that, one day, I could look like the girl from the Timotei adverts. Showing my age or what?
I like to think I’m the arty type but, really, I’m more Kirsty Allsop than Timotei. It’s a tragic confession, I know.
At the start of this foodie lark, we’d smile while chucking on knackered old sweatshirts to set up our stand. ‘We’re artisan, right?’ we’d console ourselves.
Oh yes. We’re so artisan it hurts. F**cking artisan, we laugh, as our seams disintegrate around us. ‘These don’t need need ironing, do they?’ asks the Greek God, waving crumpled shirts about. He still has half a proper job. He compromises by ironing the bits that show; ironed sleeves poking out of a tank top.
What do true foodies wear? What if I’m not wearing the right stuff to be successful?! In a bid to look the part, I *may* have ordered a vintage leather jacket on eBay. I can see it now: butter-soft honey-coloured jacket, faded battered jeans and unfeasibly long silver earrings. I’ll be slimmer and – shut up! – taller too when my parcel arrives.
Vintage will be my thing, now I’m rocking artisan fashion. It’ll be a trend, you’ll see… what could go wrong?